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Hey kids, sorry for the lack of updates. What was supposed to be a part time job suddenly became a second full-time job along with all kinds of complications and crazy bullshit, and my personal art had to take a back seat to my studio job and my game master job.
Then this week I had a ten-hour long episode of rolling panic attacks... so I ended up in urgent care for a night and now I've got some pills and stuff, but shit's been insane.
Like, I literally thought I was getting a lung infection or a heart-problem because of how bad it was. I'd had a few anxiety episodes before here and there the past couple months, or what I thought was me just being short of breath from running around doing stuff, but Tuesday night I was woken up several times in a row with the sensation that I couldn't breathe. Wednesday morning I woke up at 9 am to go to work, and still couldn't breathe, I just couldn't catch my breath no matter how hard I tried to slow my breathing and relax, nothing was working. This lasted hours, and it was getting worse on and off, with my chest feeling warm and tense, my legs going numb, I was shaking, unable to concentrate, and every time I inhaled I felt like I just wasn't getting enough air to fill my lungs, so finally around noon with this being completely consistent, I went home and tried to figure out what was happening to me.
I was pretty sure I was sick with something, possibly even dying, I had images of needing oxygen tubes shoved in my face and IVs and x-rays and surgeries and all kinds of scary things I couldn't begin to afford in my state of poverty, so I was afraid to go to the doctor at all, but finally, after a full ten straight hours of this constant inability to breathe normally, I drove myself to urgent care, where they took my vitals and listened to my organs and concluded I was just having rolling panic attacks, one after another, and was in a state of extreme anxiety, so they gave me a xanax and my vitals went more normal and gave me a temporary prescription and now I'm just recovering.
Still pretty tense, my heart hurts, I'm exhausted, but I'm okay now.
Point being, I tried to tell my boss I was overworked, this is exactly what I meant. I've been having to work 70-80 hours a week and yet I feel like I've been making no progress. Our store has no manager and they won't promote someone so when shit goes wrong it falls on ME because they've been giving me all the hours. My mother's also been harassing me from time to time when she drinks and feels the need to. So when they asked if there was anything that might be stressing me out, I was like HUH, LET ME THINK ABOUT THAT.
Anyway... that's what's been happening. I am gunna try to get back into art, because fuck this insane job right now.
That's all. IDK. Bye. Thanks. Love you.
Then this week I had a ten-hour long episode of rolling panic attacks... so I ended up in urgent care for a night and now I've got some pills and stuff, but shit's been insane.
Like, I literally thought I was getting a lung infection or a heart-problem because of how bad it was. I'd had a few anxiety episodes before here and there the past couple months, or what I thought was me just being short of breath from running around doing stuff, but Tuesday night I was woken up several times in a row with the sensation that I couldn't breathe. Wednesday morning I woke up at 9 am to go to work, and still couldn't breathe, I just couldn't catch my breath no matter how hard I tried to slow my breathing and relax, nothing was working. This lasted hours, and it was getting worse on and off, with my chest feeling warm and tense, my legs going numb, I was shaking, unable to concentrate, and every time I inhaled I felt like I just wasn't getting enough air to fill my lungs, so finally around noon with this being completely consistent, I went home and tried to figure out what was happening to me.
I was pretty sure I was sick with something, possibly even dying, I had images of needing oxygen tubes shoved in my face and IVs and x-rays and surgeries and all kinds of scary things I couldn't begin to afford in my state of poverty, so I was afraid to go to the doctor at all, but finally, after a full ten straight hours of this constant inability to breathe normally, I drove myself to urgent care, where they took my vitals and listened to my organs and concluded I was just having rolling panic attacks, one after another, and was in a state of extreme anxiety, so they gave me a xanax and my vitals went more normal and gave me a temporary prescription and now I'm just recovering.
Still pretty tense, my heart hurts, I'm exhausted, but I'm okay now.
Point being, I tried to tell my boss I was overworked, this is exactly what I meant. I've been having to work 70-80 hours a week and yet I feel like I've been making no progress. Our store has no manager and they won't promote someone so when shit goes wrong it falls on ME because they've been giving me all the hours. My mother's also been harassing me from time to time when she drinks and feels the need to. So when they asked if there was anything that might be stressing me out, I was like HUH, LET ME THINK ABOUT THAT.
Anyway... that's what's been happening. I am gunna try to get back into art, because fuck this insane job right now.
That's all. IDK. Bye. Thanks. Love you.
Wow a journal entry???
Idk it's late and I'm bored. Hi!
I'm still alive and doing stuff. Just busy! I have been doing more conventions lately and getting more freelance work and that's keeping me occupied. I also went through a really intensely bad event over the winter that took a long time to recover from but I'm getting there. Got lots of art planned.
If you want to see more updates from me, consider following me on the tumblrs instead as that is the social media platform I use the most at the moment.
Personal: http://baconvonmoose.tumblr.com/
Professional (art only): https://baconmoose.tumblr.com/
Baconmoose
I finally went to Canada Land. I was in Montreal to assist a guest at Otakuthon who is a friend of mine. Didn't get to do much at the con, but the city itself was lovely.
Montreal is a very French-speaking city, it's in Quebec, so there was a lot of 'Desole, je ne parle pas Francais' and 'Parlez vous Englais?' Very interesting experience. All the conversations around me and street signs and people addressing me were all French, lol.
I also came home with some plastic transparent moose monopoly money which I now need to see if my bank will convert. I do use a Canadian bank so it's possible. I might keep the cool coins though. Toonies are my
Grinding Away
Well I quit my job at Escape Chambers finally. Now I'll have more free time for art and things. First I have to finish wallpapering this bedroom and doing more home improvement stuff. This is a big condo and it's been pretty time consuming but it's coming along nicely.
I also don't really update this Deviant Art thing all that much so if you wonder where I am, I'm usually on Tumblr, or my VTM IRC which of course all are welcome to join if they wish to play some World of Darkness online with us. If you want details feel free to send me a note for instructions on how to join!
I'll try to get back in the swing of updating this more!
Moved!
I just moved into a new apartment and I've been spending the last week repainting it spooky, so apologies for the inactivity, my life has been hectic as usual but it's getting better. A lot of things have happened to me, some good and some very bad, but I'm at least in a better environment now.
I still have loads of work to do on the apartment and I have lots of art to catch up on for clients and Patreon rewards and THEN maybe I can work on more personal art and resume drawing my comic. It'd be done by now if I didn't have bills to pay.
Anyway, CONVENTION SCHEDULE reminder:
MADISON WIZARD WORLD this weekend!
CONCINNITY mid April.
INDIANA
© 2015 - 2024 LaCroixGrimoire
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it's been a few days since this was written, are you feeling any better now?